I understand this; it is a syndrome that I too went through as a
young instructor. As a man that has 'been there', my ideals
have changed and whilst the physical response is, obviously,
still on my training curriculum, it is no longer my main
artillery, neither is the physical ippon (KO) my main aim.
Rather my goal is to defeat an opponent without becoming
physical.
In theory, I am aware that this aim is simple and
straightforward, in reality in a confrontational society such as
ours it is not so easy -a tremendous amount of self-control
and confidence is needed to make this lofty goal an actuality.
This is predominantly why I make my personal system of
combat such
a difficult one: to develop this confidence and control. This is
also the reason why our motto is the latin 'Per Ardua Et Astra'
(through hardship to the stars), and why such people as the
American Dog brothers work with the motto 'higher
consciousness through harder contact'.